You hear a lot of talk about rebound relationships. But, just what is a rebound relationship? Well, you know your ex is in a rebound relationship if he or she is dating someone else in order to get over you. Rebound relationships usually start just days or weeks after a serious breakup.
Without being aware of it, a person in a rebound relationship is still hurting (at one or more levels) as a result of the recent breakup. This pain can keep them from being ready emotionally to invest in the new relationship. But, at the same time, their pain may drive them to remain tied to the new relationship for an indefinite period.
If you have recently split up with your lover and they are now in a rebound relationship, your first reaction might be one of pain or jealousy. “How could they do this to me?” you may be asking yourself. And, you may be wondering how to get him or her back. Well, here is a piece of good news: the very fact that your ex is now in a rebound relationship means that they are trying to cope with losing you!
The reason you broke up is not important. And, it is not important who initiated the breakup. What does matter is that you once shared – and may still share – true love. And, as the storybooks say, every relationship that has a foundation in true love can be salvaged.
If your ex really is involved in a rebound relationship, right now his or her focus is on the problems that you had in your recent relationship. He or she has probably chosen to be with someone who is very different from you – just to prove a point that they can move on. Remember, whomever your ex chose to date now, their choice is not meant to make you mad – it is meant to prove to themselves that they are still lovable.
If you are interested in getting him or her back in your life and away from this rebound relationship, you need to study the situation. For example, you can learn something from their choice in a new lover that could help the two of you rekindle your relationship. It gives you a chance to see what he or she is looking for. If he or she has chosen to date someone very different from you, it could indicate that something was missing in your previous relationship. You can now use your extra free time to better yourself.
While the situation you are in now may be painful, there is no changing it – at least, not for the moment. So, the first step in getting him or her back is to just sit back and analyze the situation. Let the rebound relationship run its course. After all, as your ex spends time with their new lover, that person’s flaws may also become very apparent. Who knows, you might be looking pretty good to your ex right about now.
It is for this reason that you do not want to go back to him or her on your knees. Rather, let your ex get the sense that he or she misses the good things about your relationship. And, if you can get your ex to consider having you back, be a gracious about it. Be the new-and-improved person that you know you can be.
Here are 5 additional tips on how to deal with it:
1. Do not try too hard to make your ex think you are the love of their life. Rather, let your ex figure this out for him or herself.
2. Do not apologize for your past actions, apart from something like, “I am sorry it did not work out for us.” No long speeches, please!
3. Do not promise to change for your ex. You need to remain confident in who you are and remind them that the true you is what they found attractive in the first place.
4. Do not try to convince your ex that the breakup – or the problems in your relationship – were not your own fault. Doing so will only put your ex on the defensive, and this will not get you any traction.
5. Whatever you do, you need to avoid begging him or her to take you back.
When you ex starts going out with someone just after you break up, he or she is in a rebound relationship. You can make up with her and get back together. Don’t despair or get depressed. Remember, the fact that they are in a rebound relationship means that they may very well still be in love with you.